We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
