I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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