We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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