im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
