She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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