So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
