Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
