it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
