so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
