I feel great
I just peed on a car
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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