i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
