Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
