She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i think i just lost a toe
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
