I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
