i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize