I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
