i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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