oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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