My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize