The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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