He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
