I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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