There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
