butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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