It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
