i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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