I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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