Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
