my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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