Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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