At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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