What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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