All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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