there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The air taste purple.
Randomize
