just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
