I'm going to jail i love you
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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