You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
