you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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