Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
