absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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