Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My breasts were aching with rage.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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