if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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