I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
