the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize