i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
