Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
