Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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