I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
