the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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