we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
