She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
