I murdered the dance floor call the cops
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
