Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
