I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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