I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
