I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
