apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
