There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
