i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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