Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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