sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize