hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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