Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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