I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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