You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
