dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
