I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Can I color on your dick again?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
