It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
