we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
