she woke up with a sticky ear
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
