I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
