tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
