can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize