Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
