Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize