If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
