whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
