you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
