did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize