Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize