ugly people sure do ruin things
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
my liver is dry heaving
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
