Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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