im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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