..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
