it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
